Much Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a big week for homosexual-related very first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

Our very own first part involves you via xojane, the ladies’s website headed right up by Jane Pratt (my champion)

(i am major) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled »
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,» this part falls under the «It Happened to Me» element which existed at JANE journal and consists largely of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively interesting personal experiences.

The unknown composer of this piece, which we’ll contact «Ariel,» is bisexual, but because she readily provides hit jobs to the woman male associates but does not date or often go lower on females, she’s, she describes, commercially, just a »

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.» (She also describes by herself as «mostly right» and «straight» at other things within the narrative.) Her reputation began, she describes, when the woman very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at the woman college — went down on the for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it and immediately fled the scene fearing her own failure to execute these types of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted duration.

She produces:

«Needless to say, term got around that she and I also had connected and therefore I would remaining this lady clinging, which in fact had the odd effect of offering me folk-heroine condition. Kelly known as me a «pillow princess,» and henceforth, I became one. It actually was like some type of movie conceit where character is mistaken for a high profile and gets to ride in a limo and remain in an elegant resort as a result of it.»

This apparently totally resolved within her support, as she romped about in university hooking up with many «aggressive types just who had gotten down on proven fact that I was reluctant to allow a lady touch me personally.» Post-college, she managed to move on toward net, where she marketed this lady calm standing and frequently met up with ladies for NSA gender.

Around the end she problematically explains that when hooking up with a female she’s maybe not attracted to, she simply shuts her sight and envisions some other person «while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.» Often it appears like she desires women for eating the woman away just because they’re allegedly much better at it than men are. She

could

go lower on them but «I’m not online dating all of them, and I also don’t think i’d want my personal fetish corrupted by looking after someone enough to hand back.»

I’dn’t want to sit down next to Ariel on a plane, but the woman one-sided sexual encounters are consensual and she actually is only telling a genuine tale of her life, and so I’m certainly not yes what you should model of this (and that I’m curious to understand what you will be making from it, if any such thing).

Subsequently, on Jezebel (via
The Favorable Guys Venture
) we
I hitched a Lesbian (and I also’m some guy)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, «tended to get crushes on the same form of lady: the celebrity basketball user, the football forward, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some were not.» He wondered:

What-is-it that received me many times to ladies who were same-sex lured? It really wasn’t the stereotypical male dream by what these were undertaking during intercourse, therefore definitely had nothing at all to do with a macho belief that i possibly could switch a gay girl directly.

In parts, the part (which does tred on some stereotypical floor) reminded myself of your estimate from

The Girls Across The Street

,
which I quoted in a write-up about feminine manliness
:

«â€¦if we had which will make an added generalization about lesbian taste, it would be that many us are powerfully interested in ladies, homosexual or right, gorgeous or not, which seem as though they’re able to eliminate themselves.»

The writer fundamentally marries a lesbian whom introduced as direct, in which he discovered their unique ensuing sexual life is unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him hit jobs and don’t really like penetration but happily accepted their offerings of cunnilingus. When their sexless wedding concluded in breakup and a drug relapse (for him), he is seemingly caring to their ex-wife’s battle versus labeling her as misleading (as numerous with the commenters do):

She had result from a traditional household that would currently seriously embarrassed to possess a gay son or daughter. She may have known, but did their better to conceal it, possibly wishing that the woman emotions might transform. Or she might have been like more than a few women i have recognized, and simply found the woman true intimate identification after already being married to a guy.

What exactly is redeeming concerning this article in my experience that the author’s conception of their own gender is mostly free of the standard male posturing any might expect in an item along these lines (he even means themselves as «femmy»). Perhaps it really seems that method because males thus rarely write about desiring powerful, athletic, effective ladies with short-hair; but it is energizing nonetheless.

I really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for telling their tales, but it’s well worth mentioning that both narratives appear to ride regarding idea that bedroom behavior could be the ultimate/only litmus test of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s organization, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a «warning signal» the guy missed, whenever entrance is rarely an exclusively heterosexual work (it appears more likely Courtney feared the closeness of penetration with a guy she did not wish becoming with, yet , who knows) and dropping crazy, eventually, is focused on the snatch but it’s also about your heart and it is typically about having passionate emotions. Those enchanting emotions are just what converts a hook-up relationship into a relationship, after all.

Finally at

nerve.com

we have a sweet story right from the horse’s lips —
My Personal First-time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. In my opinion this is the very first time the «First Time» series has featured a lesbian.

Generally, in ninth level, mcdougal confessed to the woman companion that she had lesbian emotions on her behalf, along with her companion reciprocated, and additionally they proceeded to continue a stealth lesbian connection and they are still together now and this woman is a grown-up when you look at the army!

This indicates they have however to take their unique commitment from the dresser, in fact it is somewhat puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Turns out this story ended up being authored before DADT had been repealed, although it just got posted, thus you’ll find nothing puzzling happening here. This is just straight-up nice in almost every method, unequivocally.]

The focus of this part (which will be really precious and sweet) is found on the author’s advancement of
just what lesbian gender is quite
:

We had never been down on each different, and I also was actually convinced that’s what we would meant once we mentioned we planned to have sex. (today I realize there’s a lot more to fucking than licking a female’s vagina and contacting it each day.)

She concludes:

I’m sure that many individuals differ about what virginity method for a homosexual lady, but virginity is very subjective, and it also truly is determined by who you’re asking. People might state entrance needs to be involved, but i believe it’s up to the individual shedding his or her virginity. Easily feel like I’ve lost my personal virginity, then goddammit, i’ve!

I have spent a lot of morning and mid-day observing word press, trying to figure out just what point I could generate about any of these parts. I imagined a lot about why we’d never release «I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess» with this internet site but cannot work through the reason that I would fear 50 of you would vow to prevent go back here plus the remaning many-thousands of you would battle together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the heating loss of the universe. I envisioned someone publishing «I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess» to all of us via e-mail then I thought the article conference in which we would will that tale and all say «NO» concurrently.

In on the lookout for a spot to gleam because of these stories, I made an effort to figure out what you’d consider or say, and I also can not, and I like to complete this article today to improve the procedure of me learning what you believe about these tales. Yup, the very first time since starting Autostraddle, I got little idea what things to state about a thing. Very maybe I should just ask you to answer — what’s your response to these pieces?